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Category: illness

What does it feel like to be disappointed by God?

What does it feel like to be disappointed by God?

I hear that phrase a lot. ‘Disappointment with God.’ There’s even a book with the same title (a very good book, actually.) People often ask me if I am disappointed with God, and if I say I am not, say that I should be. And if I say that yes, today actually I am, I may get the ‘oh don’t worry, he has plans to prosper and not to harm’ etc. I know. I’ve used it myself. But thinking about…

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Yet Another SF and Suffering Blogpost.

Yet Another SF and Suffering Blogpost.

I know, I know, there are thousands floating round the internet. But seeing as I am sitting propped up in bed and have just taken painkillers, I have a window where I may be able to pen something that makes some kind of sense. Possibly. First of all I should link to Adventure Bloke’s musings on the subject – he preached it on Sunday, and it is Very Good. http://carterclan.me.uk/sermons/so-what-about-bone-cancer-in-children/ I think that words like Mr Fry’s can be seriously…

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The Point Being?

The Point Being?

We have a hamster named Bilbo. He doesn’t do very much all day, really. He sleeps a lot, and occasionally he’ll have a little wander round his cage, stuff his pouches with whatever he can find and go back to bed. He might come out for a little wander round the sofa or in his ball for a while. He’s not a lot of use though, frankly, he doesn’t do anything much. Except he does. He brings joy to the…

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Leaning

Leaning

So, here it is. I have prevaricated and procrastinated for long enough. It’s time to tell about that experience. You know, the big one, the one where I wondered if I’d see 2012 through. What a fellowship, What a joy divineLeaning on the everlasting armsWhat a blessedness, what a peace that’s mineLeaning on the everlasting arms This is me in the 2nd week of December, or thereabouts. I suddenly went down with pneumonia in both lungs and went straight into…

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If …

If …

If. If I was well. If I was well I would go swimming with my children every single week. I would tell them stories every night and play games with them every day. I would chase them round the house and dance round the living room to Strictly with them. If. If I was well I would earn money. I would earn enough money to be able to go on adventure holidays abroad. If I was well I would take…

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Paralympics Meanderings

Paralympics Meanderings

How fabulous are the Paralympics? I love seeing how the athletes have worked so hard and triumphed over such adversity. They are inspirational. It’s quite staggering to see how far some of them have come in their lives and their sport. And – well, they’re fantastic athletes. However, there is something of a backlash amongst the disabled and chronically sick community, especially as regards to one of the Paralympic sponsors, Atos Healthcare. One has to wonder why a company that…

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Line in the Sand

Line in the Sand

I haven’t blogged for a good while. I’d kind of lost my blogging confidence, muttering such thoughts to myself as ‘no one really wants to read your meanderings anyway’ or ‘people are just being nice.’ You know the kind of stuff. So it got longer and longer since I blogged and I got less and less inclined to. Added to that, my faith was taking somewhat of a bashing this year. Looking back, there was always a (wobbly) certainty and…

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Honesty

Honesty

So, after my last blog post here which seemed to resonate with quite a few people (so many thanks, as ever, for all the messages, encouragements, etc etc…) I decided that I would practise what I preached, and be Honest. So when someone, even a random someone I hardly knew, asked how I was, I wouldn’t say ‘fine’ or ‘oh yes, great, you know, well..’ and other fluffy such downright lies. I’d say ‘Not fine’ ‘not OK’ or ‘OK ish…

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Dear Nice Person……

Dear Nice Person……

Dear nice friendly person: No, I don’t feel fine. Thankyou for saying I am looking really well. I know that you are only trying to be kind and upbuilding. Unfortunately it reminds me of the fact that even when I feel sick people think I’m doing well, and therefore I must be putting it on.I know this is not the case, but I think it anyway.I am sorry, nice friendly person, that I am not talking much back to you….

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Good Friday. Yes it is.

Good Friday. Yes it is.

So we went along to an Hour before the Cross service earlier on which Adventure Bloke was leading. In between keeping the Adventurous Pair separate and relieving Adventure Boy of a smuggled in Pick Up Stick (you’d be amazed how much creativity one eight year old can achieve with one Pick up Stick) I found something resonating deep in my spirit. I’ve not been finding much of that kind of resonation (is that a word?) of late. It’s all been…

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